While the most important thing in finding a right partner is to find someone who is fundamentally compatible with yourself & is willing to commit into loving you & building a relationship with you, there are certain valuable character & personality traits that would be good to have in a life partner that you should look out for, especially so for character traits since a person’s character will heavily influence how they react in various situations & how they live life.

At the same time, we should also strive towards these personality & character traits to be a better partner for our other halves.

1.  COMMITMENT TO PERSONAL GROWTH

Life would be more fulfilling & meaningful if you are passionate about living & growing into a better person.

If your partner is motivated & committed to personal growth, you’ll find that they’ll keep growing into better partners who will love you more, care for you more & keep striving towards providing you with a better quality of life. They would also inspire you to grow together with them.

2.  EMOTIONALLY OPEN

An emotionally open partner will save you a lot of frustration & exhaustion from trying to figure out how your partner actually feels about things & issues. It can be extremely difficult & taxing to care for someone who is not willing to reveal their hearts & emotion to you.

In any relationship, there will be problems and challenges; but an emotionally open partner would make life much easier by enabling the both of you to calmly communicate your problems & feelings to each other so you can share your burden or joy together.

3.  HIGH INTEGRITY

Finding a life partner with integrity will save you from a lot of heartbreak & emotional roller-coaster rides as you never have to guess whether they are telling the truth or doing something that might hurt your feelings.

It makes it much easier for you to trust them and believe in them, which is important for any relationship to be successful.

4.  MATURE & RESPONSIBLE

A mature & responsible life partner makes it much easier for the both of you to build your lives together for you can always rely on them to do their part.

But of course, by mature & responsible we don’t mean that you should find someone who is too serious all the time, we all have our childish & fun moments & they are important.

Essentially, what we mean to say is that it would be good to find someone who can step up to be an adult when there is a need for them to.

5.  HEALTHY SELF-ESTEEM

A partner with a healthy self-esteem will naturally be a more vibrant & joyful partner to be with and will not need your constant attention & reassurances.

Of course, that is not to say that we should not continue to express our love & appreciation for our partners, we should definitely still continue to do that to strengthen our relationships. Our point is that having a partner with a healthy self-esteem that does not constantly crave for your attention & reassurances would free up valuable personal space that would allow your relationship to grow healthily as two amazing & unique individuals who have chosen to build their lives together.

6.  POSITIVE ATTITUDE TOWARDS LIFE

Life is tough.

It is full of ups and downs, bad times & good times; but you’d rather go through bad times with a positive & encouraging person rather than being bogged down by the doubts & worries of a negative person during good times.

A positive person will light up your life, they will be able to be the beacon of light that pulls you out of your darkest times, make tough times bearable and seem almost adventurous.

In short, a partner with a positive attitude towards life will make you a much happier person and bring much more joy & happiness to your relationship as you go on an adventure through this long & daunting journey called life together.

7.  GOOD PERSONAL CHEMISTRY

Lastly, your relationship would be much more romantic & interesting if you can find someone whom you have good personal chemistry with.

If you are fundamentally compatible, personal chemistry can usually develop later, but there will be some people whom you are able to develop a better chemistry with than others, and it would be good to find someone whom you have reasonably good chemistry with to make your relationship more romantic & passionate.

“Although love is about being able to see perfection in an imperfect partner, it is also about helping each other become a better person. Hence, we should also keep striving to become better partners for our better halves…”

To know if you are generally compatible with someone, there are 10 areas in your lives that can be categorized under 3 main categories that you can look into.

For the relationship to be successful, the both of you do not have to be compatible in every single area. As long as there is a general compatibility in most areas and not too big a disparity, you should do fine.

But of course, the more compatible you are in these areas, the easier it is to build a relationship as there would be less friction in your relationship. Hence, you should consider looking into them.

VALUE SYSTEM

1.   Spiritual Lifestyle

• Are both of you equally religious or unreligious?
• Is there a big disparity in spiritual beliefs?

2.   Pace & Style of Personal Growth

• Are both of you equally committed or uncommitted to self-improvement?
• If yes, are the both of you growing at the same pace or is there a great disparity?
• Do you share some of the methods to personal growth like reading books or attending events?

3.   Physical Style/Appearance

• Do both of you have compatible dress sense or expectations on physical fitness?

4.   Financial Style

• Do both of you have compatible and agreeable spending, saving and investment habits?

EMOTIONAL

5.   Style of Expressing & Receiving Love

• Do both of you have compatible needs and styles of expressing and receiving love?

6.   Communication Style

• Are you able to communicate and understand each other well?
• Are you able to effectively express and understand your feelings to each other?

7.   Sexual Style

• Are you able agreeable to each other’s expectations on sex?

BACKGROUND

8.   Intellectual Style

• Are you able to understand each other’s train of thought?
• Is there a big disparity in conversational topics?

9.   Social Style

• Can you accept each other’s friends and social circles?
• Can you accept each other’s social style and activities?

10.  Hobbies & Interests

• Do you share, appreciate or accept each other’s interests and hobbies?

Although no one is perfect, there are certain traits a person can have that can make life extremely difficult for their life partners.

If you are still searching for the right partner, you might want to consider avoiding people who has any of these traits no matter how attractive they otherwise are.

But of course, the choice is ultimately still yours to make. In any case, we hope that this article will be able to give you an idea as to what you might need to prepare yourself for if you choose to build a relationship with a life partner who has any of these traits.

If you are currently together with someone with the following traits, this article might help you understand some of the root causes of the problems you might have in the relationship and how to overcome them or whether you can truly accept them for who they are.

If you happen to be a person with one of the following traits, it is okay. We understand that nobody is perfect and there must be a reason why some of us acquired such a trait. However, if you really love your life partner, you might want to consider doing something about it to help grow your relationship better either by talking about it or turning to someone who might be able to help.

1.  PERPETUALLY ANGRY

It is normal for us to get angry when others have wronged us or when we get disappointed. That is perfectly normal.

However, the anger that we are referring to here is a serious case where someone is always angry and resentful. They feel as if the whole world owes them something and are always angry at almost everything and anything in life.

They often erupt into a fireball without any warning and can be angry at almost anything as if they are constantly looking for a reason to be angry. Sometimes, they might even throw things around or hurt others physically in the process.

If you find a life partner who has an anger problem, you will have to be prepared to live beside a volcano and still be able to love them for who they are. You might have to live in constant fear because you do not know when they would erupt into anger again.

2.  VICTIM CONSCIOUS & CONSTANTLY BLAMING OTHERS

People who are victim conscious usually will not accept responsibility for the things that they have done. They will always feel that it was someone else’s fault and that they are always the victim.

In a way, they might secretly enjoy suffering because they get attention when people pity them. They feel a sense of security in painting themselves out as a victim.

If you find a partner who is victim conscious, you might find yourself frustrated at the fact that you will be the one that will take the blame for anything that goes wrong, or that your partner will never own up to their own mistakes to do something about it.

3.  CONTROL FREAK

People who are control freaks usually only feel secure when they are in control of the situation. They usually have trouble trusting others. They tend to also face problems in handling kids because it is hard to control children and can get frustrated easily. They might also become easily jealous or over-protective in the relationship.

If your partner is a control freak, it can be very hard for them to trust you, which is a problem because trust is essential for any relationship to work.

4.  SEXUAL INFIDELITY

Someone who is sexually immoral might have an addiction to sex or a lack of integrity (within the context of a relationship). Unless you can tolerate a life partner who sleeps around with other people, it is going to be hard for you to trust them and build a strong relationship.

5.  HASN’T GROWN UP

We all age, but not all of us grow up.

Someone who hasn’t grown up is usually afraid of taking on any responsibility. They would usually only think about themselves and would choose to ignore the consequences of their actions because they know there is always someone they can turn to for help.

If your partner hasn’t grown up, they might grow to over rely on you. After a while, you might find that you are babysitting a kid instead of being in a relationship with a life partner. A life partner should be someone whom you can treat as an equal, share your responsibilities with and grows together with you, and not a kid whom you have to pamper and babysit all the time.

6.  EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE

Some people are extremely afraid of opening up themselves to others. For some reason, they are afraid to communicate their feelings or simply do not know how to. Most of the time, they would simply shut everyone out, especially so when they are going through a hard time.

If your partner is emotionally unavailable, you will have a hard time sharing your joys and sorrows with them, or even trying to care for them. This is because you have to spend so much effort just to get them to open their hearts to you, and they might still shut you out in the end.

Our life partners are also called our soul mates for a reason, because we are supposed to share our emotions and soul with each other and go through life together. But if your life partner is emotionally unavailable, it might feel like you are living with a rock, and that can be very taxing and frustrating the more you love them and try to care for them.

7.   HASN’T RECOVERED FROM PAST RELATIONSHIPS

If your life partner hasn’t recovered from a previous relationship, they might not be ready to love you with all their heart. Their love tank might not be full and ready to love again at the moment or might still belong to someone else.

If your partner hasn’t recovered from past relationships, you might just be someone who could temporarily fill the huge empty space in their hearts left by their previous relationships. Maybe it is not time yet, maybe you should let them heal their wounds before trying to build a relationship together with them.

8.   EMOTIONALLY DAMAGED FROM CHILDHOOD

Unfortunately, some of us had to go through a dark childhood that might have involved sexual or physical abuse.

It is unfortunate, but if someone is emotionally damaged from childhood and has not found a way to move on from it positively, there might always be a dark shadow from their past that might prevent them from accepting or loving someone romantically.

Don’t Judge, But You Don’t Have To Go On A Rescue Mission

Everyone is the way they are for a reason, and hence we should not judge.

As friends and fellow human beings, we should accept them for who they are.

However, when it comes to choosing a life partner, we will have to honestly ask ourselves whether we are prepared to go through the challenges that might ensue if we choose a partner with any of the above traits. If you honestly believe that you are prepared for it, then by all means go ahead. But if you are not, don’t force yourself or commit yourself to a rescue mission.

Fortunately, there must be a reason why people acquire the above traits. Nobody is naturally born with the above traits. It could be due to what they have gone through or how they reacted to certain events. Everyone has their own story. If they can identify the reason why they acquired the above traits, sometimes all it takes is a little change in perspective to change someone’s outlook on life and behavior, and become much better partners for their soul mates.

“Nobody is perfect. Everyone is the way they are for a reason, and hence we should not judge. But we should also be honest with ourselves and our life partners and strive to be the best we can be for each other…”